Episodes
EPISODE 1 2003-09-22 Episode 1 "Pilot" EPISODE 2 2003-09-29 Episode 2 "Big Flappy Bastards" EPISODE 3 2003-10-05 Episode 3 "Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of H... EPISODE 4 2003-10-12 Episode 4 "If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to... EPISODE 5 2003-10-19 Episode 5 "The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump" EPISODE 6 2003-10-26 Episode 6 "Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Mon... EPISODE 7 2003-11-02 Episode 7 "If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake" EPISODE 8 2003-11-09 Episode 8 "Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful" EPISODE 9 2003-11-15 Episode 9 "Phase One, Complete" EPISODE 10 2003-11-23 Episode 10 "Merry Thanksgiving" EPISODE 11 2003-12-14 Episode 11 "Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor" EPISODE 12 2004-01-04 Episode 12 "Camel Filters and Pheromones" EPISODE 13 2004-01-10 Episode 13 "Sarah Like Puny Alan" EPISODE 14 2004-02-01 Episode 14 "I Can't Afford Hyenas" EPISODE 15 2004-02-08 Episode 15 "Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick" EPISODE 16 2004-02-15 Episode 16 "That Was Saliva, Alan" EPISODE 17 2004-02-22 Episode 17 "Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats" EPISODE 18 2004-02-29 Episode 18 "An Old Flame With a New Wick" EPISODE 19 2004-03-21 Episode 19 "I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You" EPISODE 20 2004-04-18 Episode 20 "Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark" EPISODE 21 2004-05-02 Episode 21 "No Sniffing, No Wowing" EPISODE 22 2004-05-09 Episode 22 "My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet" EPISODE 23 2004-05-16 Episode 23 "Just Like Buffalo" EPISODE 24 2004-05-23 Episode 24 "Can You Feel My Finger?"
EPISODE 1 2004-09-19 Episode 1 "Back Off, Mary Poppins" EPISODE 2 2004-09-26 Episode 2 "Enjoy Those Garlic Balls" EPISODE 3 2004-10-02 Episode 3 "A Bag Full of Jawea" EPISODE 4 2004-10-10 Episode 4 "Go Get Mommy's Bra" EPISODE 5 2004-10-17 Episode 5 "Bad News from the Clinic?" EPISODE 6 2004-10-24 Episode 6 "The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance" EPISODE 7 2004-11-07 Episode 7 "A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana" EPISODE 8 2004-11-14 Episode 8 "Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers" EPISODE 9 2004-11-21 Episode 9 "Yes, Monsignor" EPISODE 10 2004-11-28 Episode 10 "The Salmon Under My Sweater" EPISODE 11 2004-12-12 Episode 11 "Last Chance to See Those Tattoos" EPISODE 12 2005-01-02 Episode 12 "A Lungful of Alan" EPISODE 13 2005-01-15 Episode 13 "Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)" EPISODE 14 2005-01-30 Episode 14 "Those Big Pink Things with Coconut" EPISODE 15 2005-02-06 Episode 15 "Smell the Umbrella Stand" EPISODE 16 2005-02-13 Episode 16 "Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?" EPISODE 17 2005-02-20 Episode 17 "Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!" EPISODE 18 2005-03-06 Episode 18 "It Was Mame, Mom" EPISODE 19 2005-03-20 Episode 19 "A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise" EPISODE 20 2005-04-17 Episode 20 "I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey" EPISODE 21 2005-04-30 Episode 21 "A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On" EPISODE 22 2005-05-08 Episode 22 "That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother" EPISODE 23 2005-05-15 Episode 23 "Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab" EPISODE 24 2005-05-22 Episode 24 "Does This Smell Funny to You?"
EPISODE 1 2005-09-19 Episode 1 "Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts" EPISODE 2 2005-09-26 Episode 2 "Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover" EPISODE 3 2005-10-03 Episode 3 "Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark" EPISODE 4 2005-10-10 Episode 4 "Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs" EPISODE 5 2005-10-17 Episode 5 "We Called It Mr. Pinky" EPISODE 6 2005-10-24 Episode 6 "Hi, Mr. Horned One" EPISODE 7 2005-11-07 Episode 7 "Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop" EPISODE 8 2005-11-14 Episode 8 "That Voodoo That I Do Do" EPISODE 9 2005-11-21 Episode 9 "Madame and Her Special Friend" EPISODE 10 2005-11-28 Episode 10 "Something Salted and Twisted" EPISODE 11 2005-12-19 Episode 11 "Santa's Village of the Damned" EPISODE 12 2006-01-09 Episode 12 "That Special Tug" EPISODE 13 2006-01-23 Episode 13 "Humiliation Is a Visual Medium" EPISODE 14 2006-02-06 Episode 14 "Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded" EPISODE 15 2006-02-27 Episode 15 "My Tongue is Meat" EPISODE 16 2006-03-06 Episode 16 "Ergo, the Booty Call" EPISODE 17 2006-03-13 Episode 17 "The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer" EPISODE 18 2006-03-20 Episode 18 "The Spit-Covered Cobbler" EPISODE 19 2006-04-10 Episode 19 "Golly Moses, She's a Muffin" EPISODE 20 2006-04-24 Episode 20 "Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro" EPISODE 21 2006-05-01 Episode 21 "And the Plot Moistens" EPISODE 22 2006-05-08 Episode 22 "Just Once With Aunt Sophie" EPISODE 23 2006-05-15 Episode 23 "Arguments for the Quickie" EPISODE 24 2006-05-22 Episode 24 "That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite"
EPISODE 1 2006-09-18 Episode 1 "Working for Caligula" EPISODE 2 2006-09-25 Episode 2 "Who's Vod Kanockers?" EPISODE 3 2006-10-02 Episode 3 "The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress" EPISODE 4 2006-10-09 Episode 4 "A Pot Smoking Monkey" EPISODE 5 2006-10-16 Episode 5 "A Live Woman of Proven Fertility" EPISODE 6 2006-10-23 Episode 6 "Apologies for the Frivolity" EPISODE 7 2006-11-06 Episode 7 "Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head" EPISODE 8 2006-11-13 Episode 8 "Release the Dogs" EPISODE 9 2006-11-20 Episode 9 "Corey's Been Dead for an Hour" EPISODE 10 2006-11-27 Episode 10 "Kissing Abraham Lincoln" EPISODE 11 2006-12-11 Episode 11 "Walnuts and Demerol" EPISODE 12 2007-01-08 Episode 12 "Castrating Sheep in Montana" EPISODE 13 2007-01-22 Episode 13 "Don't Worry, Speed Racer" EPISODE 14 2007-02-05 Episode 14 "That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami" EPISODE 15 2007-02-12 Episode 15 "My Damn Stalker" EPISODE 16 2007-02-19 Episode 16 "Young People Have Phlegm Too" EPISODE 17 2007-02-26 Episode 17 "I Merely Slept With a Commie" EPISODE 18 2007-03-19 Episode 18 "It Never Rains in Hooterville" EPISODE 19 2007-04-09 Episode 19 "Smooth as a Ken Doll" EPISODE 20 2007-04-16 Episode 20 "Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot" EPISODE 21 2007-04-23 Episode 21 "Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous" EPISODE 22 2007-04-30 Episode 22 "Mr. McGlue's Feedbag" EPISODE 23 2007-05-07 Episode 23 "Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'" EPISODE 24 2007-05-14 Episode 24 "Prostitutes and Gelato"
EPISODE 1 2007-09-24 Episode 1 "Large Birds, Spiders and Mom" EPISODE 2 2007-10-01 Episode 2 "Media Room Slash Dungeon" EPISODE 3 2007-10-08 Episode 3 "Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo" EPISODE 4 2007-10-15 Episode 4 "City of Great Racks" EPISODE 5 2007-10-22 Episode 5 "Putting Swim Fins on a Cat" EPISODE 6 2007-10-29 Episode 6 "Help Daddy Find His Toenail" EPISODE 7 2007-11-05 Episode 7 "Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room" EPISODE 8 2007-11-12 Episode 8 "Is There a Mrs. Waffles?" EPISODE 9 2007-11-19 Episode 9 "Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids" EPISODE 10 2007-11-26 Episode 10 "Kinda Like Necrophilia" EPISODE 11 2008-03-17 Episode 11 "Meander to Your Dander" EPISODE 12 2008-03-24 Episode 12 "A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh" EPISODE 13 2008-03-31 Episode 13 "The Soil Is Moist" EPISODE 14 2008-04-14 Episode 14 "Winky-Dink Time" EPISODE 15 2008-04-21 Episode 15 "Rough Night in Hump Junction" EPISODE 16 2008-04-28 Episode 16 "Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty" EPISODE 17 2008-05-05 Episode 17 "Fish in a Drawer" EPISODE 18 2008-05-12 Episode 18 "If My Hole Could Talk" EPISODE 19 2008-05-19 Episode 19 "Waiting for the Right Snapper"
EPISODE 1 2008-09-22 Episode 1 "Taterhead Is Our Love Child" EPISODE 2 2008-09-29 Episode 2 "Pie Hole, Herb" EPISODE 3 2008-10-06 Episode 3 "Damn You, Eggs Benedict" EPISODE 4 2008-10-13 Episode 4 "The Flavin' and the Mavin'" EPISODE 5 2008-10-20 Episode 5 "A Jock Strap in Hell" EPISODE 6 2008-11-03 Episode 6 "It's Always Nazi Week" EPISODE 7 2008-11-10 Episode 7 "Best H.O. Money Can Buy" EPISODE 8 2008-11-17 Episode 8 "Pinocchio's Mouth" EPISODE 9 2008-11-24 Episode 9 "The Mooch at the Boo" EPISODE 10 2008-12-08 Episode 10 "He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited" EPISODE 11 2008-12-15 Episode 11 "The Devil's Lube" EPISODE 12 2009-01-12 Episode 12 "Thank God for Scoliosis" EPISODE 13 2009-01-19 Episode 13 "I Think You Offended Don" EPISODE 14 2009-02-02 Episode 14 "David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie" EPISODE 15 2009-02-09 Episode 15 "I'd Like to Start With the Cat" EPISODE 16 2009-03-02 Episode 16 "She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime" EPISODE 17 2009-03-09 Episode 17 "The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?" EPISODE 18 2009-03-16 Episode 18 "My Son's Enormous Head" EPISODE 19 2009-03-30 Episode 19 "The Two Finger Rule" EPISODE 20 2009-04-13 Episode 20 "Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau" EPISODE 21 2009-04-27 Episode 21 "Above Exalted Cyclops" EPISODE 22 2009-05-04 Episode 22 "Sir Lancelot's Litter Box" EPISODE 23 2009-05-11 Episode 23 "Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth" EPISODE 24 2009-05-18 Episode 24 "Baseball Was Better with Steroids"
EPISODE 1 2009-09-21 Episode 1 "818-jklpuzo" EPISODE 2 2009-09-28 Episode 2 "Whipped Unto the Third Generation" EPISODE 3 2009-10-05 Episode 3 "Mmm, Fish. Yum." EPISODE 4 2009-10-12 Episode 4 "Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator" EPISODE 5 2009-10-19 Episode 5 "For the Sake of the Child" EPISODE 6 2009-11-02 Episode 6 "Give Me Your Thumb" EPISODE 7 2009-11-09 Episode 7 "Untainted by Filth" EPISODE 8 2009-11-16 Episode 8 "Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle." EPISODE 9 2009-11-23 Episode 9 "Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair" EPISODE 10 2009-12-07 Episode 10 "That's Why They Call It Ball Room" EPISODE 11 2009-12-14 Episode 11 "Warning, It's Dirty" EPISODE 12 2010-01-11 Episode 12 "Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste" EPISODE 13 2010-01-18 Episode 13 "Yay, No Polyps!" EPISODE 14 2010-02-01 Episode 14 "Crude and Uncalled For (1)" EPISODE 15 2010-02-08 Episode 15 "Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)" EPISODE 16 2010-03-01 Episode 16 "Tinkle Like a Princess" EPISODE 17 2010-03-08 Episode 17 "I Found Your Moustache" EPISODE 18 2010-03-22 Episode 18 "Ixnay on the Oggie Day" EPISODE 19 2010-04-12 Episode 19 "Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave" EPISODE 20 2010-05-10 Episode 20 "I Called Him Magoo" EPISODE 21 2010-05-17 Episode 21 "Gumby with a Pokey" EPISODE 22 2010-05-24 Episode 22 "This Is Not Gonna End Well"
EPISODE 1 2010-09-20 Episode 1 "Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud" EPISODE 2 2010-09-27 Episode 2 "A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer" EPISODE 3 2010-10-04 Episode 3 "A Pudding-Filled Cactus" EPISODE 4 2010-10-11 Episode 4 "Hookers, Hookers, Hookers" EPISODE 5 2010-10-18 Episode 5 "The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel" EPISODE 6 2010-10-25 Episode 6 "Twanging Your Magic Clanger" EPISODE 7 2010-11-01 Episode 7 "The Crazy Bitch Gazette" EPISODE 8 2010-11-08 Episode 8 "Springtime on a Stick" EPISODE 9 2010-11-15 Episode 9 "A Good Time in Central Africa" EPISODE 10 2010-11-22 Episode 10 "Ow, Ow, Don't Stop" EPISODE 11 2010-12-06 Episode 11 "Dead from the Waist Down" EPISODE 12 2010-12-13 Episode 12 "Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead" EPISODE 13 2011-01-03 Episode 13 "Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup" EPISODE 14 2011-01-17 Episode 14 "Lookin' for Japanese Subs" EPISODE 15 2011-02-07 Episode 15 "Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak" EPISODE 16 2011-02-14 Episode 16 "That Darn Priest"
EPISODE 1 2011-09-19 Episode 1 "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt" EPISODE 2 2011-09-26 Episode 2 "People Who Love Peepholes" EPISODE 3 2011-10-03 Episode 3 "Big Girls Don't Throw Food" EPISODE 4 2011-10-10 Episode 4 "Nine Magic Fingers" EPISODE 5 2011-10-17 Episode 5 "A Giant Cat Holding a Churro" EPISODE 6 2011-10-24 Episode 6 "The Squat and the Hover" EPISODE 7 2011-10-31 Episode 7 "Those Fancy Japanese Toilets" EPISODE 8 2011-11-07 Episode 8 "Thank You for the Intercourse" EPISODE 9 2011-11-14 Episode 9 "Frodo's Headshots" EPISODE 10 2011-11-21 Episode 10 "A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes" EPISODE 11 2011-12-05 Episode 11 "What a Lovely Landing Strip" EPISODE 12 2011-12-12 Episode 12 "One False Move, Zimbabwe!" EPISODE 13 2012-01-02 Episode 13 "Slowly and in a Circular Fashion" EPISODE 14 2012-01-16 Episode 14 "A Possum on Chemo" EPISODE 15 2012-02-06 Episode 15 "The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack" EPISODE 16 2012-02-13 Episode 16 "Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy" EPISODE 17 2012-02-20 Episode 17 "Not in My Mouth!" EPISODE 18 2012-02-27 Episode 18 "The War Against Gingivitis" EPISODE 19 2012-03-19 Episode 19 "Palmdale, Ech" EPISODE 20 2012-04-09 Episode 20 "Grandma's Pie" EPISODE 21 2012-04-16 Episode 21 "Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'" EPISODE 22 2012-04-30 Episode 22 "Why We Gave Up Women" EPISODE 23 2012-05-07 Episode 23 "The Straw in My Donut Hole" EPISODE 24 2012-05-14 Episode 24 "Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!"
EPISODE 1 2012-09-27 Episode 1 "I Changed My Mind About the Milk" EPISODE 2 2012-10-04 Episode 2 "A Big Bag of Dog" EPISODE 3 2012-10-11 Episode 3 "Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt" EPISODE 4 2012-10-18 Episode 4 "You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For" EPISODE 5 2012-10-25 Episode 5 "That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam" EPISODE 6 2012-11-01 Episode 6 "Ferrets, Attack!" EPISODE 7 2012-11-08 Episode 7 "Avoid the Chinese Mustard" EPISODE 8 2012-11-15 Episode 8 "Something My Gynecologist Said" EPISODE 9 2012-11-29 Episode 9 "I Scream When I Pee" EPISODE 10 2012-12-06 Episode 10 "One Nut Johnson" EPISODE 11 2012-12-13 Episode 11 "Give Santa a Tail-Hole" EPISODE 12 2013-01-03 Episode 12 "Welcome to Alancrest" EPISODE 13 2013-01-10 Episode 13 "Grab a Feather and Get in Line" EPISODE 14 2013-01-31 Episode 14 "Run, Steven Staven! Run!" EPISODE 15 2013-02-07 Episode 15 "Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It" EPISODE 16 2013-02-14 Episode 16 "Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby" EPISODE 17 2013-02-21 Episode 17 "Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries" EPISODE 18 2013-03-07 Episode 18 "The 9:04 from Pemberton" EPISODE 19 2013-03-14 Episode 19 "Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon" EPISODE 20 2013-04-04 Episode 20 "Bazinga! That's From a TV Show" EPISODE 21 2013-04-25 Episode 21 "Another Night With Neil Diamond" EPISODE 22 2013-05-02 Episode 22 "My Bodacious Vidalia" EPISODE 23 2013-05-09 Episode 23 "Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped"
EPISODE 1 2013-09-26 Episode 1 "Nangnangnangnang" EPISODE 2 2013-10-03 Episode 2 "I Think I Banged Lucille Ball" EPISODE 3 2013-10-10 Episode 3 "This Unblessed Biscuit" EPISODE 4 2013-10-17 Episode 4 "Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank" EPISODE 5 2013-10-24 Episode 5 "Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003" EPISODE 6 2013-11-07 Episode 6 "Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants" EPISODE 7 2013-11-14 Episode 7 "Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie" EPISODE 8 2013-11-21 Episode 8 "Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room." EPISODE 9 2013-12-05 Episode 9 "Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer" EPISODE 10 2013-12-12 Episode 10 "On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!" EPISODE 11 2014-01-02 Episode 11 "Tazed in the Lady Nuts" EPISODE 12 2014-01-09 Episode 12 "Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball." EPISODE 13 2014-01-30 Episode 13 "Bite Me, Supreme Court" EPISODE 14 2014-02-06 Episode 14 "Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe" EPISODE 15 2014-02-27 Episode 15 "Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin" EPISODE 16 2014-03-06 Episode 16 "How to Get Rid of Alan Harper" EPISODE 17 2014-03-13 Episode 17 "Welcome Home, Jake" EPISODE 18 2014-04-03 Episode 18 "West Side Story" EPISODE 19 2014-04-10 Episode 19 "Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang" EPISODE 20 2014-04-24 Episode 20 "Lotta Delis in Little Armenia" EPISODE 21 2014-05-01 Episode 21 "Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot" EPISODE 22 2014-05-08 Episode 22 "Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead"
EPISODE 1 2014-10-29 Episode 1 "The Ol' Mexican Spinach" EPISODE 2 2014-11-05 Episode 2 "A Chic Bar in Ibiza" EPISODE 3 2014-11-12 Episode 3 "Glamping in a Yurt" EPISODE 4 2014-11-19 Episode 4 "Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight" EPISODE 5 2014-11-26 Episode 5 "Oontz. Oontz. Oontz." EPISODE 6 2014-12-03 Episode 6 "Alan Shot a Little Girl" EPISODE 7 2014-12-09 Episode 7 "Sex with an Animated Ed Asner" EPISODE 8 2014-12-17 Episode 8 "Family, Bubl\u00e9, Deep-Fried Turkey" EPISODE 9 2015-01-08 Episode 9 "Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey" EPISODE 10 2015-01-15 Episode 10 "Here I Come, Pants!" EPISODE 11 2015-01-22 Episode 11 "For Whom the Booty Calls" EPISODE 12 2015-01-29 Episode 12 "A Beer-Battered Rip-Off" EPISODE 13 2015-02-05 Episode 13 "Boompa Loved His Hookers" EPISODE 14 2015-02-12 Episode 14 "Don't Give a Monkey a Gun" EPISODE 15 2015-02-19 Episode 15 "Of Course He's Dead (1)" EPISODE 16 2015-02-19 Episode 16 "Of Course He's Dead (2)"
Two and a Half Men
"Two adults. One kid. No grown-ups."
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Typetv
DurationN/A
Release2003
Rating7.5
